January is a time of year when food can lose some of its joy and fun. After the excess and celebrations of the festive times, this is only natural. Especially as many of us are trying out new diets, weight loss plans, attempts at detox…..in fact there are so many methods of feeling great but today in the BHK, laughter in the best medicine. Food is fun (sometimes bordering on hilarious)!
Jane and I have had a proper chuckle writing this post. The sheer, bare-faced absurdity of some food names. All the weird, wonderful and just plain strange titles for things we love to munch on. Its amazing that we manage to talk about some foods with a straight face over the dinner table. “Darling, could you pass me a handful of kumquats.” Many foods sound like something you don’t want anywhere near your mouth!
We have brilliant sounding food names ranging from a kind of appetitsing primordial ooze to things that sound like growths or alien life forms. You know where this is heading, so no further introduction needed……
Here are today’s top 22 food weirdos (in no particular order):
1) Schoog – sci-fi sounding sauce from the Middle East. An alien race from a distant galaxy. Delicious.
2) Botrytis – mould that grows on wine grapes (and hopefully nowhere else), essential for sensational dessert wine.
3) Burgoo – stew from Kentucky. ‘Goo’ never a good thing especially when eating.
4) Pumpernickel – not strange as such just a bit amusing
5) Larb – sounds anatomical for some reason?! A sensational ranges of mashes or purees from Laos.
6) Rutabaga – the American name for Swede. Sounds like an old truck.
7) Succotash – another stew from the southern U.S. Comical or offensive.
8) Forcemeat – Thankfully vegans don’t have this problem.
9) Devils Dung – Nickname for Asafoetida or Hing and a reasonably accurate description.
10) Laver Bread – the famous Welsh delicacy made from seaweed. Normally eaten at breakfast. Laver is the same seaweed as ‘Nori’ in Japan.
11) Mucilage – the slime around some foods. Surprisingly, this can be a good thing.
12) Wine bottle sizes – they have epic biblical names like Magnum (2), Jeroboam (4), Rehoboam (6) Methusulah (8), Salmanazar (12), Balthazar (16), Nebuchadnezzar (20), Melchior (24).
13 – Nooch – Nickname for the vegan staple, Nutritional Yeast Flakes. Lets face it, it needed some work.
14) Studding – a verb used when poking things into food. “I just studded…….”
15) Spatchcock/ Speck/ Offal/ Giblets – If anything is going to help you give up meat, its words like this.
16) Kumquat – funny little orange things.
17) Bratwurst – little embellishment needed. A naughty German sausage.
18) Egg Plant – Confused(ing).
19) Gigglebeans/ Garbanzo – plain old chickpeas in the UK (which is also quite a good one)
20) Wheat Germ Muffin – Germs just don’t sound right in a baked good.
21) Umami – UMAMI! Just makes me happy to say it. I think of a Japanese Manga Cartoon Robot.
22) Turkey – What we call a Turkey (the bird) in Turkey they call an ‘India’.
Worthy mentions – Semolina (I don’t know why?!), Guava (a great mouth exercise), Bangers, Passion Fruit (<3) Sprats/ Winckles (….?..), Cock-a-leekie (……!…), Nougat (there is no right way of saying this), Mung Beans, Lady fingers, Gumbo, Gherkins….Johnny cakes……Arugula….Lumpia…..Scallions (pirates)…..Flan (the most grey sounding food)…….that’s it, I’m exhausted.
This hilarity cannot continue, although if you have any food related words that make you giggle or sound like a character from the ‘Twilight Zone’ please send them over. We love oddballs!